Happy Birthday Melissa

Did I mention that in five days Melissa is having a birthday?

 

Did I mention that it will be a really special one? For her anyway

She will be 18 years old! I can't believe it.

I might look happy, but I'm crying on the inside.

Just look at her. Does she look like a grown woman? Well, not to me.

An interesting side note: If I hit her now it won't be child abuse, it will be assault. Oh Geez, I'm only kidding. I wouldn't hit her that hard.

I'm Back

Everything has been sort of insane since I started dating. You don't realize all that seriously dating someone entails when you already have a family. I have really been beating myself up lately and I decided last night that I am not going to torture myself anymore. After all, life is torturous enough without me doing it to myself. I never really expected to date again. I knew that were still good men out there, I just didn't think there was one for me. Cuz, I'm kinda picky.....and quirky, forgetful, sharp tongued at times, a procrastinator, oh, and I can't keep up with anything-keys, purse, phone, Ipod, you name it. I mean, I can be a little tough to deal with sometimes.

Oh, back to the torture thing. Every time I spend time with Boo, I feel guilty. Even if I have spent six days out of seven with my kids, I still feel bad. I haven't been able to shake it. I feel like I am being a bad mom when I am with him and not them. Sometimes we all do things together, but mostly just him and I. I think we are both being careful about easing him into their lives. I spend no more than two nights a week with him. Usually we go out once during the week, and I spend the night over at his place one weekend night. He doesn't stay at my house. Right now I have pretty strong feelings about setting an example for the girls.

Farrell, since I think you are the only other single mom I know in the blogging world, I think of you often. Girl, there is a lot you don't think about "pre" boyfriend. I want to be really careful about my wording here, because it's very important that it doesn't come off as complaining. I feel extremely blessed to have this amazing person in my life. He is pretty much exactly the kind of person I need and want in my life. That doesn't mean that having this relationship comes without some sacrifice. My house never seems to be as clean as I think it should be. My God, the laundry. The laundry in this house has taken over. See when you are spending even part of your weekend with your boo, it takes away that time that you would normally be walking around in sweatpants on a Saturday morning, with your hair in a ponytail doing laundry and household chores. doing something extremely independent and exciting.

I also have become a football fan. Let me make this clear. I will watch our Titans play on TV, and I will go to a Titans game. Other than that, I don't watch football. I told him when we first started talking that I'm not really into sports. But I also think if you are going to be in relationship, you should at least try to take an interest in what they are interested in.

I never thought I would have someone in my life who treats my kids the way they should be treated. This man does. Without having to be "taught" or told certain things. He doesn't have any kids, but he is great with mine. Keri is experiencing some jealousy, but all the negativity is directed at me, not him. I am actually grateful for that. I would much rather her take it out on me than him any day. After all, I have years of experience, I know exactly how to deal with her.

Melissa on the other is extremely laid back about the whole thing. For example, last night I called her and told her I was going to have a drink with Boo on my way home. Her response was. "OK that's fine, I'll see you later". Keri called me cuz apparently Melissa didn't mention my plans to her. She asked me where I was. When I told her, in a very flat monotone voice, "Oh, OK".

Speaking of Melissa, did you know she will 18 on the 19th of this month? Eighteen years old, I can't believe it. I swear it seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms. No one told me it would happen this fast. When I look at her, I still see my little girl. HW, I imagine you felt that way about Blake, especially when he enlisted. It's not fair that I have raised this girl for all these years and I am expected to just abruptly cut my apron strings. It's going to be really hard. She is applying for college, looking forward to graduation, and I just don't feel ready for all this.

On a more fun note, here are some of the most recent quotes. They don't stop being funny just cuz they get older.
I am going to set up this first one. I wore overalls to work on Monday for year end inventory. I have to go out in the plant and it's really dirty out there. I didn't want to ruin any of my good clothes. I left the house at 5 freakin thirty am, therefore neither one of the girls saw me until I got home that evening. Melissa walks into the kitchen and says:

Oh my God! What are you wearing?


Me: Overalls. We had inventory today


Melissa: That's ridiculous (a pause here)


Melissa: Did Boo see you in that?

I didn't think the overalls were that bad.

Driving in the car with the girls:

Melissa: Mom, guess what! My friend might be able to get us "New Moon" on DVD. He/She knows how to get pie-rated movies.


Me: (laughing hysterically) You mean pirated movies? Baby they are not called Pie-rated movies


Melissa: It's the same thing


At home a couple of days ago:

Me: I can tell that someone has been wearing my slippers. I can tell that because they are not in the same place I left them this morning.


Keri: (With a very innocent look on her face) Punkin! (Punkin is our cat btw)

Yes, I am sure the cat was wearing my slippers that day.

In the car last week.

Keri: Ew, that's gross. That burp tasted like cheeseburger


Oh I told my friend Kym the story about the overalls tonight. She informed me that I have to throw them away and NEVER WEAR THEM AGAIN!! I told her I will be taking her advice into consideration.
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Have I ever mentioned that I have never shopped on Black Friday?

Well I did this year. Wal-Mart was offering the same sales online and in the stores. I put the item in my online cart. I had it all planned out. I would get up at 4:45 am on Friday, click "buy" and go back to bed. Right? Wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong. I clicked "buy" and got a lovely message in red bold print that read "sold out". I was pretty desperate. The item I wanted was regularly 119 bucks. It was on sale for 59 bucks. I did the only thing a desperate, broke, mother could do. I threw on my coat, and out the door I went....In my pajamas....without brushing my hair......or my teeth.......or taking a shower.....or putting on makeup.

It was not nearly as bad as everything that I have heard. I stood in line for 30 minutes, struck up a pleasant conversation with the people in front of me and was back home by six...ish. The secret to black Friday shopping is all in the shopping carts. Don't get one! I was able to manuever much more quickly than the customers who had buggies. Annnnddd the best part was I actually found what I was looking for.

New Posting

Girls there is a new posting on my secret blog.

The Dawn Of A New Era

It's been a while so let's get right into it. Keri was so happy and surprised when she saw her new room. She actually had tears in her eyes when she hugged me and thanked me. We have been really busy getting into the new school year. There have been some changes with Keri going to middle school this year, and Melissa skipping a grade. Yes, I said she skipped a grade.

She enrolled herself in summer school and paid for it with her own money. This gave her enough credits to be a senior this year. I confess that I feel unprepared. There will senior pictures, prom, yearbook, senior trip and all that jazz. How we are going to pull this off I haven't figured out yet.

Keri made a few requests as she embarked on her middle school journey, which I will now list.

1. She would like permission to wear eyeliner.

2. She would like to be allowed to have boyfriends.

3. She would like her bedtime extended to 9:30.

I responded with the following proclamations:

1. She may not wear eyeliner, she only 11 years old.

2. She may not have a boyfriend, she is only 11 years old.

3. Her bedtime will not be extended to 9:30 because she has to get up 30 minutes earlier this year to catch the bus. That and I don't want my one hour of me time intruded upon.

On to other things. So have any of you heard of Fung Shei? Well I don't necessarily believe in it but I would like to make an observation. I listen to a radio show on my Ipod out of Charlotte, NC. Once a month they have a guest by the name of Ellen Whitehurt who provides a monthly Fung Shei report. One month, she was giving advise about how to bring men/women into your life. She said that if you are a woman and your bedroom is really girlie, it will repel men. I thought it was a lot hogwash.....until I moved Keri and all her girlie stuff out of my bedroom.

Ladies (and gentlemen if there are any left) the men have been coming out of the freakin' woodworks. Do you hear me? Now, I am not conceited, but I am here to tell you that I have been hit on more in the last couple of months than I have in..well a really long time. I don't know if it really has anything to do with the room change, but who am I to say? There have been men who are inappropriately old, there have been men who are inappropriately young. I swear I even got hit on by a father and son. It's really strange. I am going to post a more detailed account of some this stuff on my secret blog. This is all I really feel comfortable talking about here. I will say that I have made some new friends and I am enjoying my life more because of it. I find myself laughing......a lot.

Finally, one of the reasons for my prolonged absence boils down to this. Work has gotten really crazy. I pluck a computer all day at work, and frankly I have no use for sitting in front of a computer screen when I am home. I mean I don't get on the computer for ANYTHING. I am so lazy I even update my Facebook status from my phone. I have been reading other blogs, but I haven't been posting comments. It has been really great to hook up with some of you guys on Facebook. If anyone is not a Facebook friend, send an email to susiewrsthepants@aol.com and I will tell you how to find me. Good night all my little butt munches!

The Grand Finale

I think Keri's room is coming along nicely. I posted some pics on my Facebook, but I wanted to put some here also. You know, cuz all of you peeps aren't Facebook friends....yet.

 

Remember this hideous, pitiful excuse for a light?

                                                           Voila! New light fixture.

 

I almost wanted this table and lamp for myself. Too cute.

 

Only one of the pillows is new. I recycled some pillows that Keri already had. They just happen to match all the new stuff. 

 

What is a new room without pictures of your loving family?

 

This thing looked much better on the picture than it does unfolded. Maybe I should fill up with dirty clothes to fill it out. Nothing like a bin full of dirty laundry for a new room.

 

Keri's new dresser which I partially put together myself. Then I enjoyed a glass of wine and supervised my dad finishing the dresser. I made sure to instruct him on the proper way to tighten screws, since I'm such an expert now.

 

I include this final picture to demonstrate my extreme displeasure over the billions of push pins I found when cleaning all of her stuff out of the master bedroom. Push pins have therefore been permanently banned from this house. They pose a danger to my feet, fingers, and the well being of my vacuum cleaner. I hereby declare and decree that all push pins found in my home will immediately receive the death penalty.

Oops I Did It Again...And Again....And Again

This has definitely been a week of mishaps. Yesterday especially, but go back a few days ago when my sister and Taylor came over to work on the new room for Keri. When it was time for a diaper change, sis realized that she didn't have any diapers in the diaper bag. We all stood around staring stupidly at each other trying to figure out what to do. Since it was a poopy diaper, she cleaned him up. Taylor promptly stood up, walked a few feet, squatted and then did his business.....on my living room floor.

I talk about my brilliant mind all the time. Once again, my super smart self didn't let me down. I know, let's go to the store and buy some freakin' diapers. While I was gone, Taylor proceeded to "mark" his territory and I don't mean with urine. By the time Melissa and I got back with the diapers, my sister had moved him to the bathtub to prevent any further "marking".

This is the kind of thing that happens to all of us that we are ashamed of. I know I have mentioned instances where I forgot to send money for a field trip, or the time I forgot it was my day to send snacks for Keri's class. I heard an interesting segment on the radio a few days ago. The discussion was about what it takes to be a mom. The speaker was telling a story about being in a Starb*cks getting coffee. She saw a dad standing in line with one of those baby snuggly things. Of course there was a baby in the snuggly thing. A strange reached over and tapped him on the shoulder and told him what a good dad he was. Are you kidding me? All it takes to be a good dad is to hold your child while you stand in line waiting for a caffeine fix? Who knew.

I am NOT knocking on dads here OK. I am so lucky to have two wonderful dads in my life. I am a daughter to both of these men. I love them and they love me. Both are seemingly comfortable with my relationship with the other.

Dad-gummit I didn't mean to get sidetracked about that. Sorry. So last night I was trying to hang the curtain rod for Keri's room. It did not go well. I couldn't get the hole started with the screw. I dropped the screws too many times to count. I was a little irate. I mean, I single handedly put together that TV stand. Remember? The one that took me 8 friggin hours to put together. After that, I should be capable of assembling most anything.

Finally I got the curtain rod up. I mumbled under my breath as I worked. The curtain was the final nail in the coffin for yesterday. Hours before that, I was helping my sister activate a replacement cell phone. Somehow, I managed to cut the service off of my phone, and transfer it to her phone. I have NO IDEA how I managed to do that. I couldn't do it again if I tried.

I was very humiliated as I spoke to the customer service rep and told him what had happened. I made sure to point out that I had successfully activated MANY phones without needing assistance or having to go the actual store. Thankfully he was a very nice rep. I also made sure to point out how confusing it can be when you have FOUR cell phones under your account. He chuckled and agreed. Then he told me about how his daughter had done the same thing. Somehow, I wasn't very comforted.

I also managed to knock little Taylor on his butt. My sis invited me over for dinner. I had stepped outside to tell her man that dinner was ready. I went barging in the back door, completely unaware that little Taylor was right behind the door. Oh the shame. The guilt.

I know that none of these things are really a big deal. Put them all together and I am a bumbling idiot. I don't know how I manage to dress and feed myself some days. Any of you have days like that?

SSSHHHHHH.... It's A Surprise!

This is a post about Keri's new room




Really, I promise...but first, a pic of my adorable nephew Taylor. His mother is a painter. A professional one. Let me take a minute to tell you about his mother. She was in an emotionally abusive relationship for eight years.


That's hard to believe looking at her happy face. Eight years and two kids later, she got out. Around the same time, she started her own business. She had been painting for years as an hourly painter. She bravely decided to venture out on her own.....with two small children to care for. She secured a place to live for her and her two boys. Long story short, she made it. She began to heal from this terrible relationship, and moved on. Hence, adorable little Taylor

Her painting business is successful, and she is very good at it. Me being the thoughtful and considerate sister that I am, I am giving her a free plug. Which I should do anyway, seeing as how she painted Keri's new room for free

Now, on to Keri's room. We live in a three bedroom house. When we moved in, one of the bedrooms was already occupied. (Don't ask, it's a complicated story) Anyway, I had to share a room with Keri. It was only supposed to be temporary. Well, temporary turned in to four years. Four years of me having to share bedroom space with a total slob.

As Keri gets ready to embark on her journey through middle school, I feel that continuing to share a room with me would be, well emotionally debilitating to her. I had been trying to figure out what to do for quite a while.

Then suddenly a brilliant idea just popped right into my head. OK I got the idea from someone else We have an empty room. Why not turn it into a bedroom. The biggest problem with the room is that it has no doors. So, how do I close off a room with two entryways, with one of the entry ways being a double entryway?

Duh!!! Put up some doors. While this is not the best solution, it was economical, and it will get Keri out of my hair. I will have an adult bedroom again. Oh the joy, the happiness. With a solution in place, we commenced to the remodel project.




Taylor was very helpful as you can see. Did I mention that Keri is out of state visiting relatives? Did I mention that she has NO IDEA what we are up to while she is gone? I love a surprise! Incidentally, I did not steal my idea from HW's blog. Really, I promise. Although I confess I do believe we communicate telepathically as I mentioned to her.





See this hideous chandelier with only one bulb burning? Well, I have purchased a new fixture, I just haven't figured out who I am going to con into installing it for me.



Taylor continued to offer his support throughout the entire painting project. Here he is showing me the proper way to wear a bowl on your head. Very important details you know.


Here he is showing me how to avoid getting paint on the floor by holding the paint brush AWAY from the floor. Very educational.

Keri's bedspread pattern

Do you know how hard it is to hold up a pillow sham and take the picture yourself? Well, it's not easy.
I chose the blue and white shears because I didn't want to go overboard with the green and lavender.
This is where we are as of today. The room has been painted, two of the doors have been installed, the bed frame is up, and the curtain is hung. We still have to finish the bed, get a dresser, finish the trim paint, and install the final door. So far, this project has cost me about $265.00. Pretty good huh?